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Post  null on Mon Jul 18, 2011 10:50 pm

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Last edited by null on Mon Apr 30, 2012 4:33 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Jessica Swanson on Wed Aug 03, 2011 8:44 am

I LOVE the days Arrow daisies thing, that just sounded cool.
For "rough and scaly dragon heart" I think you should use different adjectives. Maybe ones that don't fit with dragon heart, like "smooth and slimy" (only way better than "smooth" and "slimy" Laughing )
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Post  null on Wed Aug 03, 2011 10:36 am

hmm maybe. I'll play with it, thanks!

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Post  unknown on Wed Aug 03, 2011 11:34 am

actually I disagree somewhat with you jessica. yes you might want to play around with the adjectives some, but when I think of a heart I do think smooth and slimy because of all the blood on and in it. This is such a great poem!!! I really love your line breaks, I feel like I'm carried on into the next poem.

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Post  null on Wed Aug 03, 2011 11:45 am

thanks for the input, Kassie! I've been a bit hesitant about coming back to this poem (no use in beating a dead horse) but maybe there's some way I can make this work for me =) I've got a better idea for the dragon heart

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Post  unknown on Wed Aug 03, 2011 11:52 am

I think that is the best line ever! "No use beating a dead horse" and I know the feeling. I think I'm almost afraid to touch any of my work because since we aren't at governor school I might not be able to write or edit as well without knowing I'm surrounded by people who are just incredibally awesome. It's a great poem, I really wanna see it if you make any changes.

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Post  null on Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:04 pm

I dunno, it kinda bothers me because it sounds so self-centered. I'm going to try and take it away from that, but don't worry, if I don't like the edits, I'm not going to keep them. and yeah, I love that line too =)

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Post  unknown on Wed Aug 03, 2011 7:31 pm

But the best part about poetry is that you can be self-centered sometimes. It's when every poem is about how much you don't like this or that or how much you hate that girl that drags it down and makes it not as good. Using a self-centered poem gives you room to search around and try new things, and trust me I know some poems I have no idea where to take it, but they still need work.

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